Less Miserable

Or. . . .
Beyond Sexy

1 year ago today i weighed 48 pounds less. Yes, you read that correctly. Shit, on march 12th i was 248 and today i am 277. And unlike previous 10-15lb fluctuations, this is no easy remedy. I mean, there has been a three month slide here and only because i watched a movie titled “Warrior” and today being the first of a new month do i feel OK posting these awful numbers. Adding 8″ to my waist? How come i couldn’t do that to another body part?

June 1 2011/today

Height 6’2.5″/same
Weight 229/277
Chest 46.5/48.5
Navel 36.5/44.75
Waist 36.5/42.5
Quads 26.5/29.75

Chest up 2″
Midsection up 8.25″
Waistline up 6″
Thighs up 3″

“OMG” does not even cut it.

Where i was? Focused, confident, non-toxic, getting laid often, working a bunch.

Where i am? Deep in the whole, confused, toxic like you would not believe (tobacco, burritos, ugh!), have not touched a woman in months, and have not worked in 3!

Where i’m going? Trader Joe’s, a bike ride, into the sunshine, etc. I’l be back in 30 days!

The last time i weighed in at what i was this morning, was 4.5 years ago. I thought to myself, man i am sick of fluctuating and would love be no more than 250lbs. for the rest of my life.

Not a lofty goal

Easier said then done

That was before i knew 7-11 sold 940 calorie burritos 2 for three dollars. . .

The last time i took 6 weeks off from training was in late 2009, when i was in so much pain i could not even locate an exercise that did not hurt.

Not a bad idea

I was working 50 hours a week back then

And that was what led me to talk to Adam Glass about movement testing. . .

So when i woke up today and weighed in at 277lbs., thirty seven pounds heavier than i was on March 5th, i fought all sorts of urges.

Walk out of the gym and jump off a cliff

Go put on clothes that don’t feel so tight

Go to 7-11 and get more burritos, give up, and go to sleep

Hit the “reset” button and move forward with this part of my life/fitness quest

Only that last option would make me better today than i was yesterday, so i picked it.

Black coffee, two terriers, euro-pop, and a short workout. That is my morning. I have not much else to do today. See, i have no job and my foot and back are very talkative, so i can only do so much. The time off i took from training also implied time off from

A) Walking
B) Standing Up
C) Life

See, i have not worked a full day since March 5th and it has begun to get to me. I have not had a job interview or even a call back in these three months, and i must say i am ready to rage.

So when my foot exploded and i broke a medial cuneiform bone, i kept lifting weights, though i could hardly walk my dogs or stand up for half an hour. I figured “Heck yeah, what better time to break my foot than when i have no job!”

But when my back started to bother me i said “OK, maybe take some time off from the gym”, which became time off from everything, including reality. Three months of no work have translated to the most atrocious first-world diet you have ever seen me undertake. To live off less than 12.00 a day i have been eating cheese sandwiches, burritos, and pop-corn. I could have kept it real with veggies and good animal products, but i was aiming for 4,000 calories a day as cheap as possible. The first month as awesome, with pasta and beans, chicken and eggs serving as cheap staples. But then i made a conga-line of bad decisions and here i am paying for it.

Even my ‘fat’ clothes are tight. Awful. And if i had not beefed up my upper body CONSIDERABLY in the previous 12 months, i would look like a pear. Like every other pear-shaped stressed out jack ass on this east coast. So here i am, just caught a short workout, and in 90 minutes Trader Joe’s opens and i can go get a dozen eggs for 1.99, and a bacg of frozen chicken breasts for 7.99.

And that is great because that is all the money i have. I’m not even a fitness trainer or reliable fitness enthusiast anymore. I’m a fat out of shape guy with no car, two dogs, and no answers. Times they have changed. I am only posting this so the text may serve as a reference if i pull out of this spiral and get a job, get control, and get my physique squared away. 277lbs. Goodness.