Ultimately, I want to survive.  I do not want my problems to define my life, or end it.  Everyone around knows my reputation but only two people have actually asked me what was behind it.

It’s true that I love late nights, leafy greens, and Wawa “Sizzli” breakfast sandwiches.  It is also true that I have cancelled and no-showed on events ranging from 1-1 personal training sessions, group exercise classes, and special promotions and workshops.

Yes, I have.

But the assumptions that drive people’s judgements about me and where I was/why I failed to appear are woefully misinformed.  Not every time I bailed on a commitment was fueled by a hangover.  More appropriately, not every hangover is attributed to alcohol.  I don’t drink that much.  Frequency, intensity, or duration.  I love wine with dinner, and a cold beer in summer is excellent, but the sauce is not my thing.

My thing is “hiding”.  Yesterday and this morning I came to an understanding regarding what happens before and after I hide.

It got me thinking about what happens before and after I “shed”.  Lately, I been shedding $L.A.M.F$*

I shed some desires, some hair, some body-fat, some pain, my respect for the Philadelphia Flyers, and some cash.

I bought a truck, a bunch of clothes, lost 50 pounds since last November, decided to no longer support the Flyers in any way (I did the same thing with the Eagles when they signed MIke Vick in 2009), and I am looking at a return to the fitness industry.

What happened before I shed?

-Personal loss

-Reconstituted motivation

-Reconfigured understanding of what precedes and succeeds self-destructive behavior

What happens after I shed?

Well, this is tough.  I can tell you that the last time I had major personal upheaval I kept myself in check for about 3 years.  This time, all I can do is report where I am, and deliver stats without trying to predict the future.

Body weight 5/29/2014

-249lbs (i’m a little dehydrated)

BW 12/18/2013


Electronic Body-fat, Omiron hand-held machine 5/29/14

-22.9% (which has to be bullshit.  I will post a pic of me shirtless, later if I can, no way I’m rolling with 57lbs of fat)

Today, al measurements in inches

Neck 17

Shoulders 53.5

Chest 49

Waist 40

Hips 45

Thigh 27.75

Calf 17.75

Upper arm 16

Forearm 14

I have been food logging LAMF since 2010, and the conscious competence stage has passed.  I believe that even without totaling my daily calories or macronutrient totals/ratio for the last two weeks, I have somehow formed a guidance system which has allowed me to be metabolically flexible and still have fun.

The next post will detail examples of some days that look scary on paper, but have lead up to me clocking in at 50lbs less than I did 6 months ago.

Choices.  Word is bond.


*Like a monkey fighter



I awoke one August morning, west of Philly, to find my 2003 RAM 2500 gone.

Repo man cometh.

Last December, the repo man cometh again.  This time, however, I was glad to find my 2012 Suzuki SX4 relieved of my ownership.

That will not happen with Scarlet.


She is mine, all mine.

From the year my only other Dodge pickup was repo’d, Scarlet was born.

99,000 mi

New tires being installed as I type this, Bridgestone Dueler AT/689.

I paid for her in full.  I paid the 50/50 warranty in full.  I paid for 6 months of insurance in full.  This truck is mine and no one can relieve me of her.  Legally, anyway.

Reunited and it feels so good, yeah, yeah.

To own a vehicle outright, even a 10 year old one with no power doors/windows, cloth interior, and not even 4WD, has been a dream of mine for the last 15 years.

See, i’m bad with money.  Always have been, and hopefully no more.  If I can develop a good relationship with $$$, then I can check that box and move onto something else.

What is current in my life:


Lots of eating out lately.  Sushi, steak, Mexican, Spanish, breakfast, etc. I even shopped at Wegman’s a few times this past month for my protein and roughage.

Trader Joe’s remains my go-to for coffee, chick peas, eggs, Kerrygold unsalted butter, and frozen fish.

Wegman’s, however, offers better pork tenderloin, chicken breasts and certain cuts of steak.  Namely the NY strip.


I have begun to cultivate an addiction to a British company named Barbour.  They had some threads that were right up my alley.  I actually paid $139.95 for a shirt.

I also went to Macy’s and found Calvin Klein on sale.  In my size.


Black Label Society “Catacombs of the Black Vatican”

The Black Keys “Turn Blue”

Van Halen “II”

Checking out The Legendary Roots Crew new album this week.  Review to follow!


253lbs, down from 301lbs last November 28th.

Just trying to keep my silver side up.



Upper respiratory distress.  I brought my window AC up to the bedroom.  It created a dry, irritated throat after one night.  I need a new filter.

Windows 8.  (situation resolved later in the day 5/17)


Just a few things I can do without.

My set of Weider 25lb plates (iron) from the late 80s.

Trader Joe’s.

The truck I just bought.

A few things I would rather not do without!

What I have tested lately:

L-Glutamine supplementation in capsule form (frequency, dosage, pairing)

Pinch grip work, i.e. plate carries (1 & 2 arm), and two-arm pinch grip wrist flexion (this one has great results)

Coffee vs. Tea (Mystic Dragon green tea form the Spice & Tea Exchange website has been trumping coffee)

Music: hip-hop like Big Pun and 2Pac testing better than anything else for training.  Also: Black Label Society “Catacombs of the Black Vatican”, ISIS, Amy Winehouse

I’ve not been to the gym in the last few weeks.  I have focused on training outdoors and grip work.  Today I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond (way beyond?).

I scored a “whisper quiet” humidifier, with cool mist easing my battered ear/nose/throat tissue.  I am wrecked by allergies and debris from the stockroom at Target.  I flexed my muscle today and took charge of the changes my sleep has undergone in the last three weeks before my body responds to the airborne threat, and I am subjected to resultant inflammation.

A new body pillow, and two new battleship gray body pillowcases.  I was gifted a body pillow 3.5 years ago, which aided my quest for restful sleep.  I located a #2 Tempur-pedic pillow which i value more than a poke in the eye.

Presently: the humidity in the air has lifted, and I’m left coughing and medicating, but what a great scent to the air today.  Quiet clean and crisp, I awoke at 422Am and have made it a day.

Josh Dionne from Duke’s men’s lacrosse team just got cross-checked by a dude from John’s Hopkins.  His right knee was in transit to a plant right before a big left handed shot on net, and he got cross-checked and flattened.  I thought he was not going to get up.  NO flag thrown.

Why?  In men’s lax you may check a player as we just saw, legally

-If the player is about to commit a shot on net

-You have less than 6″ between your hands with both hands on your stick

Which means that you may check a shooter by punching him in the numbers with both hands.  It is an excellent move to disrupt your opponent’s orientation and outcome, center of mass, etc. and may be executed in a high percentage position if you are square to the shooter, or locked on to his angle.