Ultimately, I want to survive. I do not want my problems to define my life, or end it. Everyone around knows my reputation but only two people have actually asked me what was behind it.
It’s true that I love late nights, leafy greens, and Wawa “Sizzli” breakfast sandwiches. It is also true that I have cancelled and no-showed on events ranging from 1-1 personal training sessions, group exercise classes, and special promotions and workshops.
Yes, I have.
But the assumptions that drive people’s judgements about me and where I was/why I failed to appear are woefully misinformed. Not every time I bailed on a commitment was fueled by a hangover. More appropriately, not every hangover is attributed to alcohol. I don’t drink that much. Frequency, intensity, or duration. I love wine with dinner, and a cold beer in summer is excellent, but the sauce is not my thing.
My thing is “hiding”. Yesterday and this morning I came to an understanding regarding what happens before and after I hide.
It got me thinking about what happens before and after I “shed”. Lately, I been shedding $L.A.M.F$*
I shed some desires, some hair, some body-fat, some pain, my respect for the Philadelphia Flyers, and some cash.
I bought a truck, a bunch of clothes, lost 50 pounds since last November, decided to no longer support the Flyers in any way (I did the same thing with the Eagles when they signed MIke Vick in 2009), and I am looking at a return to the fitness industry.
What happened before I shed?
-Reconfigured understanding of what precedes and succeeds self-destructive behavior
What happens after I shed?
Well, this is tough. I can tell you that the last time I had major personal upheaval I kept myself in check for about 3 years. This time, all I can do is report where I am, and deliver stats without trying to predict the future.
Body weight 5/29/2014
-249lbs (i’m a little dehydrated)
Electronic Body-fat, Omiron hand-held machine 5/29/14
-22.9% (which has to be bullshit. I will post a pic of me shirtless, later if I can, no way I’m rolling with 57lbs of fat)
Today, al measurements in inches
Upper arm 16
I have been food logging LAMF since 2010, and the conscious competence stage has passed. I believe that even without totaling my daily calories or macronutrient totals/ratio for the last two weeks, I have somehow formed a guidance system which has allowed me to be metabolically flexible and still have fun.
The next post will detail examples of some days that look scary on paper, but have lead up to me clocking in at 50lbs less than I did 6 months ago.
Choices. Word is bond.
*Like a monkey fighter